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Archive for the ‘the ups’ Category

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When the tears threaten to come, I close my eyes against them, barring their existence. Still they seep through closed lids, trickle in rivulets, torrents. I feel as though I am frozen in time, a stone statue, hard and impenetrable. But the tears threaten my very existence, carving weathered lines into hardened features.

It is over; it is done.

And the darkness which fills my soul, swirling haze, is merely fleeting. For yet again, the surge of energy, the surge of power; a flock of birds taking flight, flames leaping at my spirit. It takes control, and laughter bubbles from deep inside. I want to run, soar, shout my joy into an unending sky. Build masterpieces. World shattering, life altering creations. They are just waiting to be unleashed from my fingertips.

I yearn for solace. I yearn for quiet. Seek balance and shelter from the emotional storms which wreak havoc on my mind and soul.

Balance.

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On being grateful

She pulls back and rears, her paws clawing the air. I am reminded of the fact that this dog of mine is different, odd in her sweet way. She alone holds fast to my imagination; she tells me to believe in unicorns. And each time she rears back in greeting, I do.

I am worried about tomorrow, worried enough that I am taking the time to be mindful of tonight. An evening walk by the ocean has me wishing I’d brought the camera, but I can’t go back home and get it. I am transfixed; taking in the small island, the boats in the distance, the waves lapping gently at the shore. The light is fading, and a mist hangs in the air, making everything shiny in a hazy sort of way. I would like to paint this forever on canvas, just as it is, never changing. I don’t know if I mean the sight before me, or the way everything is right now. Capture everything just as it is and keep it always. The dogs race around me in perfect contentment, breaking the spell, and I am grateful for this moment. Grateful for this sight, this moment, this breath.

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